How to Simplify Your Relationship to Social Media

Social media is a beautiful thing: it can be a place where we can be inspired, feel motivated and encouraged and it can be a place where we can commune and celebrate with one another digitally. I’m grateful to Instagram because it’s brought a lot of new friends into my life, and I’m also appreciative that I don’t have to pay Instagram to have a place to archive my personal photos and life memories (seriously, my blog / website and email newsletter are so expensive and I am grateful for Instagram for being a free platform where I can express myself)! But it’s also incredibly easy to lose yourself on social media. It’s easy to get addicted, lose track of your time and get stuck in the comparison trap. I’ve been there. So kindred spirit, today I want to share with you some ways that I simplify my relationship and approach to social media and how I am an essentialist when it comes to Instagram. For those that wish to live with simplicity, I highly recommend this book. It’s one of my favs! 🙂

Unfollow and Mute People

This is something I do frequently and it’s seriously SO good to do a deep clean every single MONTH! Unfollow people that don’t bring immense value to your life. This is harsh but OH is it necessary. If you feel bad about unfollowing people (first of all: um. why?), then mute them! Muting makes it easy to stop seeing their posts that simply don’t bring any value or excitement to your life. Protect your peace! Also, if your friends are upset or hurt by you unfollowing them, it’s time to have a chat with them. 1.) Do they know your heart? 2.) Do they know you well enough to know that social media does not equal the value and extent to your in-person relationship? It’s social media. Your real-life relationships are far more important than your Instagram ones, and if you need to tell those people that, please go do so now. 🥰

Create an Inspiring Life

We spend so much time scrolling looking at other people’s lives, but when you live an inspiring life that excites you, you no longer feel the need to constantly check in and see what other people are doing. Sure, have a few people on your feed that inspire you, educate you or make you excited for your own day on Earth! Follow those expanders! Those that lift you up. But I would be bold as to say that when you are so present in your own life, you won’t feel the need to check in anymore. Make your own life inspirational, one that gives you a sense of being so fully alive, that you don’t want to open Instagram. Why waste 30 minutes of your day scrolling when you could be out there living. Cultivate and create a life that fuels you and Instagram won’t excite you anymore. This is something I’ve been doing over the past few years. After taking a 6-month break from Instagram, I noticed how much less I cared about what everyone was up to. I focus on my own life, share when I feel excited to share and I follow only a select few people that inspire and elevate my life. Be ruthless with what you take into your life; you are a product of that which you consume. 

Be Intentional When Posting

One of the best ways to simplify your relationship to social media is to constantly ask yourself why you want to share. Before sharing, I encourage you to take a moment to pause and ask yourself, “why is this important?” It’s time to get real. Are you posting because you want to be seen? For validation? Do you attach your worth to how much engagement you get? Do you feel like if you didn’t post it, it didn’t happen? I’ve written about this topic on the blog in the past, because it’s so essential if we want to live simply and intentionally. It’s time to look at your deeper values and uncover your why. What are some good reasons to post?

• I want to archive this memory of my life! I want to preserve this personal memory.
• I want to celebrate my simple joys by sharing them! This feels fun and like an natural expression of my spirit!
• I want to connect and update my friends and family about the latest life updates!
• I want to share things that bring me joy! Places, items recipes, outfits, simple joys – put the attention elsewhere.
• I want to help others. I learned something and maybe this might be helpful for someone else.
• I look and feel fabulous! I don’t care if other people validate how I look in this photo because I love it!

In essence, it’s caring less about how well a post performs and focusing more on the content itself.

Forget posting on Instagram because of the engagement. Post because you want to. This is something I started doing two years ago, right before I started my Youtube channel. I remember posting an Instagram caption that read “No lie: I am ready for Instagram likes to die.” 😂It was a pivotal moment in my life where I felt so unseen, unheard and unappreciated for the work and editing I did in my photographs. It sounds simple, but it was an important personal moment for me that redirected me back to the inner work and healing I had to do. That trigger was mirroring back to me that which I needed to work on within myself. It was a stark reminder to look back at my values. It was a reflection showing me that I was placing my worth as a creative artist on how many likes I received. It was in that moment, and in the month afterward, that I just decided I was only going to post to share whatever it is I wanted to share in that moment. “F*** the engagement!” (Seriously the “F*** it” method is so helpful in releasing resistance. Instead of building a business from Instagram, like so many bloggers were teaching at the time, I just decided to share when I felt called to share.

Reduce Time Spent Social Media

Hands down one of the best things I’ve ever done to simplify my relationship to social media is to reduce my time on social media. I do this in a few ways, depending on the season of life I’m in (a.k.a. how inspired I am by Instagram). I find it’s helpful to either…

• Log in to Instagram once or twice per week and have designated days for doing so. Log in once per day, share and consume during that time and then stay off for the rest of the day.
• Set a daily time limit (which I share more about here)
• Have a social media-free weekend! Woohoo!

Alright, for some of you, this might sound a bit extreme. I can hear ya already, “Log in only once a week?!” Yes. This is what I’m sayin’. I started doing this last summer after my six month stint off Instagram and it was a great way to slowly ease my way back into social media. I shared more about what I learned during that time away from social media here, but when I came back, it dawned on me how loud Instagram is. The app often feels like a noisy screaming match. Taking it slow, not consuming much content and unfollowing people were all really helpful in keeping an energy of stillness and gentleness within me. These days I log in every 2ish days, sometimes only twice a week, depending on how inspired I am by the app. I like to create and share more than I consume other people’s content, so I take photos and videos on my phone of moments of my life and travels throughout the week and then I’ll post them all at one time, usually within a 3o minute time, before logging out for the day. Super simple! Only 30 minutes spent on social media per day. I follow between 10-30 people at any given time and I make sure the people I follow really inspire and expand me during that period of time. When their content no longer resonates with my current headspace, unfollow. Done. Move on. No need to overthink this.

Forget the Need to Respond to Everyone

Let me be frank: you don’t owe anyone anything. Shall I say it again for the people in the back? You don’t owe anyone anything. Responding to your dms and comments is such a great way to feel connected with your friends, family and community but if you think you need to respond to every single message or comment, stop right there! Seriously, ain’t nobody got time for that. Take the pressure off yourself. There’s no need to hold onto that extra weight. And if people are upset with you for not responding to their DMs, jeeze, I don’t know what to say except – MOVE 👏 ON 👏. They are not the people for you. Attract and repel, girlfriend! There is seriously no time in this life to walk on eggshells and make apologies for not responding to every message. Life is way too short – go out there and live your life.

Actively Connect

Social media is designed for connection. But over the years, we’ve lost that active connection, that desire to create community, that most of us lurk instead of engaging. And it’s why so many people are lonelier and more depressed than ever. Having a community is essential to feeling good. One of the best ways to actively use social media for good is to create community and engage with others. And I’m not just talking about a double-tap! Actively connect and engage with others. Instead of scrolling and lurking, leave a positive comment. Send a personal DM! Go even further and send them a voice memo. I started doing this last year and it’s allowed me to make so many new friends and create relationships OFF the app! Instead of passive connection, actively connect. Reach out to 1 person every day, whether it’s sending a friend a personal voice memo or sending a DM to someone you discovered on your Explore feed that you resonate with. Get out there and make some connections!

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Alright, that’s it for my tips on how to simplify your approach to social media! No-nonsense and straight to the point – just like moi! I hope this inspires you to look at Instagram with intention and to remember that your time is precious. Life is out there for you to take it – go enjoy it, friend!! I’m sending you so much support, encouragement and empowerment! 💕

Have a magical day, beautiful ✨🦋

Love,

Helena!