I recently turned 30.

May 17th. The Day of the Bottom Line.

And to commemorate a new year and decade of life (and perhaps provide something helpful), after years of trial and error, lessons and mistakes, growth and experimentation, I thought I might share some useful things I’ve learned over the years. Some of these are practical, some financial and others energetic. Back in 2019 I wrote a blog post on the 10 things I learned in the 2010s, so add these into the list as well!

If you’d rather listen to this on my podcast, be sure to tune in here and subscribe to the Cosmic Compass podcast!

Episode 07: 30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years

 

 

I hope you enjoy this fun listicle of the random things I’ve learned! Take what resonates with you 🕊✨

 

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What you believe about yourself is true.

 

The best way to move through your emotions is to move your body. Get your endorphins pumping. Get out of your head and take physical action. If you’re sad, go for a walk. Sway to music. Do some gentle yoga stretches. Go for a swim. Twist your arms, shake your body. Quit overthinking things; get out of your head and into your senses. (Speaking as a Taurus sun, conjunct south node, connecting with the physical experience of life is something that comes naturally – and I’m telling you it works!)

 

Suffering is optional. And when I say suffering, I mean emotional suffering. Physically, you could get hurt and suffer. But there is a difference between suffering physically and suffering emotionally. You DO get to decide your thoughts and thus your feelings. Anyone who says otherwise is not in the driver’s seat of their life. You can choose your thoughts. Period. Now this doesn’t mean that your physical body will not impact and influence your thoughts, because it will. But you also have this magnificent ability to redirect your thoughts. You are a magical human with an incredible mind! You can imagine wonderful things.

 

Bring a mini candle with you on your travels; it makes a hotel room so cozy!

 

Law of assumption > Law of attraction

 

Keep your money in a high yield APY savings account – not a normal checking account where you can’t accrue interest. You can earn thousands of dollars in passive income every year just by keeping your money in a savings account like this. Without even touching it! Start investing now. I’ve earned the same amount of money this year that I’ve made passively through 2 years of investing. Make money work for you. And start changing your relationship money and abundance stat.

 

It takes two people to make a relationship work. No amount self help books you read, therapy and shadow work you do, is going to get you out of a bad relationship. It takes two people and two peoples actions that make a relationship. Even if you think you’re calling the shots, if you’re with a partner who doesn’t respect you, honor your dreams, your values, your beliefs, that’s a problem. And no amount of hard work or action on your part will ever change that. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.

 

You become the people you surround yourself with. Your perspective is dictated by the people in your life. Make sure they are inspiring or expand you in some way. It’s better to spend your time alone doing your own thing than surrounded by friends who are unmotivating, uninspiring and just a overall drag to be around. The people you surround yourself with, and in turn how people treat you, is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Surround yourself with kind people. It makes a world of a difference in how you see the world.

 

If you want to find a partner, you need to put yourself out there. So many people want to be in relationships, yet they don’t date. What in the world. The best way to insure you never meet someone is to stay home all the time. I can’t tell you the amount of guys I dated before I met my husband Alex. I went on too many first dates to count back in the NYC days. Most of them fun and many of them disappointing. But I knew it was a numbers game. If you want to meet someone, you have to put yourself out there. Ask your friends. Hire a matchmaker. Try online dating. Write a list of everything you want in a partner and then go do something about it! Go hang out in a public park or library without your phone. When you feel vibrant and good in your own skin, someone may notice and strike up a conversation! When I lived in New York, I was asked out by quite a few people by wandering a park or a museum and just going about my day alone, looking fabulous and not looking at my phone. Studies have shown that people don’t tend to approach strangers when they are looking at their phone. Put in your purse and look up; you might just meet someone! Put yourself out there if it’s something you really want.

 

Things can change in an instant. You could lose all of your money tomorrow. But that doesn’t determine how quickly you can make the money back. If there’s a recession, if you get cancelled on the internet, if your partner leaves you, if you lose your house or custody of your kids….some things in life just happen. Everything and anything can be taken away. But you still have your skills. Your skills and your mindset can never be taken away. You can start over at any moment if you decide to. Your habits, your mindset – one in which you’ve cultivated to see the beauty in life, to notice the simple joys, to bounce back with resilience – will steer you back on course. You are the captain of your ship; steer it.

 

Have different types of friends. Most people assume one friend should be everything and have every ideal quality. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that your friends don’t have to be perfect. My friends are my family, and so friendship is a topic that is close to my heart. I previously wrote about how my approach to friendships have changed throughout my twenties here. With friendships, not every person has to tick every box on our list. Some aspects of your friends you may love, others not so much. But just because they aren’t perfect doesn’t mean you can’t be dear friends! I recommend having an assortment of different types of friends: have a compassionate listening ear, a straight shooter, a fun-loving playful friend that you go out with to have a good time. Have an adventure buddy. Have a heart-to-heart friend. And if you’re lucky, you might have a friend that has a few of those qualities! Those are magical! My cluster of friends are all very different from one another, with different personalities, beliefs and interests and goals. Some of my friends aren’t into astrology like I am, others love it. And I love that! It makes life so much more interesting!

 

The most successful and happy people have two things in common: the ability to be appreciative for the simple things and their ability to bounce back from setbacks quickly. How fast you get up and start again is the #1 leading sign of someone’s happiness, luck and overall success in life. By all means, feel your feelings. Cry your heart out. Get angry. Punch a pillow. But then, move forward. Your ability to bounce back determines how fully you live.

 

Always bring a packed lunch or snack with you when going to the airport. Airport food is disgusting and 3x the price. If you have to get it there, when at an airport, if you see a good place to grab food or snack before airport security, get it there. Don’t assume good food places will be in the terminal or around your gate. Speaking from personal experience!

 

Best beauty tip: drink water. Constantly. It’s my biggest beauty tip I could ever give. Not only will your eyes sparkle, but your skin will be hydrated and glowing, you’ll have a LOT of energy and strong hair and nails and it’s the best tip for weight loss. Drink water. It’s the best, most underrated drink on the planet.

 

Just try. Start today. What’s the worst that can happen? If you never try, you’ll never know what could be!

 

Setbacks are setups.

 

Best way to build relationships? Let go of judgement. And stop assuming you know what people are thinking or wanting. Ask. Communicate. Say what you want. Put the passive-aggressive habits aside if you want to make friends. I pride myself on having friends that last 10-15+ years. And it’s because 1.) I’m intuitive and can spot red flags quickly 2.) I never assume what people think or feel. I enter every conversation with curiosity, interest and open-mindedness. I’m also independent and don’t ever rely on my friends to give me a sense of love or security. My joy comes from within.

 

A sign of a great marriage: laughter. The ability to play and be lighthearted together. Also, an active sex life. Sex is indeed very important. Great sex makes people feel connected to one another. It’s a physical experience, but it’s also emotional and spiritual. Prioritize sex, play and laughter and your marriage will feel so much lighter! I share more tips on marriage and what my husband and I learned together here!

 

Allow yourself to rest without feeling guilt or shame about it. Take a break, sweet soul. Go easy on yourself. I find that Americans in particular feel the need to DO more in order to feel worthy of the things they desire. But you don’t need to get your daily to-dos accomplished in order to relax or have fun! Creativity and energy run in cycles. We will always feel drained and tired after a season of work. Stop forcing yourself to keep going. Enjoy your chill. Work when you’re inspired. Create when you’re excited about it. And trust that that void of inspiration will come back. Because it always does.

 

Two things can exist at the same time. The year I had the most success on YouTube was the year I was struggling mentally the most. The year I made the most money and had the most success as an actor was a year of major romantic and emotional heartbreak. Two things can exist at once. Allow duality to be as it is. No judgement, just allowance.

 

Most of our time spent in life is working. So what you do for work is very, very important. Do not take this decision lightly. Your daily life matters, so design a life and career around the lifestyle you want. See the vision of your daily life and work backwards from there, one step at a time.

 

Anything worth having takes time. Most people quit a business, or a relationship, or a dream too soon. If there’s something you really desire, be patient with it! My business didn’t happen overnight; what you don’t see is 8 years of blogging, sharing my life online on Instagram and various different blogs, and tens of thousands of dollars in online classes. It was only in 2020 when I got lucky on Youtube and got some recognition for the work I was doing behind-the-scenes for so many years. Good things take time. Keep your head down, stay in your own life and follow your excitements! Don’t give up too soon. Keep going! If it’s something you really love doing, you’ll enjoy the process, even if there isn’t any recognition in the beginning!

 

You can act fast, AND live slow. Slow living is not an aesthetic.

 

Blood relation does not make anyone “family.” This is simply an outdated belief that isn’t relevant unless you make it so. You create your family. If you don’t connect with your past, you can leave. You can start a new life for yourself at any time. When I was 18, I left my life in California with two suitcases and $2,000 in my checking account and I never looked back. I never connected with my family as a child and always felt like a black sheep. But I also knew that someday I would find my people. I had to leave my hometown and get out there to find them!

 

Habits make your life. Something to ask yourself: what is future MAIN CHARACTER-you doing five years from now? Your most authentic self – if you stripped out all of the fears, doubts, escapist habits, programming from your childhood – what are they doing everyday? What is your inner being doing, if you fully aligned with that energy every day? Live life in preparation for that. And also, make it fun! 💃✨

 

Most people are comfortable but not excited by life. It’s easy to live your life on automatic, doing the same things day in and day out. Wake up, breakfast, drop off kids at school, go to work, pick up kids, make dinner, put the kids to bed, watch Netflix, repeat. Try shaking things up a bit. Take a new route to work. Stop at the park. Explore a new neighborhood. Sign up for that class. How can you make your daily life a little bit more exciting?

 

Another financial tip: get a credit card as soon as you turn 18 and set it to autopay. Don’t spend much on it; just $10-$50 a month and make sure you pay it off automatically each month. Start building credit early on. This is one of the best things I ever did in my life. At 29, I have a near perfect credit score and it’s from having my various cards set to autopay in full. Keep in mind, I’ve missed payments a few times and have closed down quite a few cards when I no longer wanted to pay the annual fee. And yet, my credit score is still insanely high. Don’t be afraid to use credit cards; there are a lot of perks using them. Beat the system and outsmart the banks. 

 

One more financial tip! Start travel hacking. I read this book when I was 19 and wanted to live around the world and it opened my eyes to the world of free flights. I’ve traveled from Egypt to Paris, roundtrip to Iceland, and a one-way trip to Bali all for free. I’ve stayed at 4-5 star Marriott hotels for free by using points accumulated simply from paying my monthly bills. Here’s a blog post I wrote years ago on how to do just that!

 

We are not just our minds. Our bodies are communicating more to us than anything else, and it’s by listening to your body, your intuition, your gut, that things start to get easier in life. Train yourself to pay attention to those gut feelings, when your energy perks up, when you straighten your back, etc. Notice those physical feelings and get connected to your body.

 

Get really clear on what is most important to you in life in and build a life around that. Many people value “family” as high on their priorities; I used to think I was unusual and didn’t fit in with most people for not having family as a value for myself. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen how my values are a reflection of my soul. My deepest desires are a mirror of my inner self – and that deserves to be celebrated! Your values are uniquely your own. And when you embrace them fully, you embrace yourself. The freedom felt when you live authentically to yourself is beyond magical. Remember that not everyone values the same thing, so stand true. Be you!

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Alright kindred spirits, that’s a wrap on the 30 random things I’ve learned in 30 years! I hope you found it inspiring or helpful! Now go out there, shine true, be you and lead your life with radical authenticity.

I’m right here cheerin’ you on! 💃🚀

Love,

Helena!